I hoped never to see Bohu again. Yesterday was beautiful and neither doubt nor fear summoned Bohu from his pitiful pit of darkness. Yet the skies darkened and clouds eclipsed the light. Growling thunder echoed and lightning stabbed the horizon.
Unlike my first encounter with Bohu, last night’s darkness invaded my thoughts and broke the treaty. Pain crossed the border, shook my body and tormented my head. It hurt. It was dark. Darkness hurt and I had no pill to numb its pain. Pain brought doubt and they both began to beat me without mercy. I almost tapped out, but prayed instead:
O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O Lord—how long?
Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love. For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?
I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment1.
The pounding subsided but my breathing still labored. I raised my arms to clear the airway. It worked. I sang. I sang a Psalm. I sang and prayed Psalm 92.
My head still hurt but I felt better.
My battles do not get easier. I am thankful I only have to do one day at a time. I am thankful I don’t fight alone.
Here we go.
- Psalm 6 ↩